And, just like that we are already in February.
January was a big one for me. I recall reading social media posts in the lead up to new years eve 2018. So many people could not wait to see the back of 2018; I on the other hand, am feeling like that regarding January 2019! Adios January… good riddance… bugger the f@$k off!
Physically, I am feeling the fittest, healthiest and emotionally strongest I have been in a while. Energetically, and spiritually; the tiredest I have been in what feels like years.
As a part of my full moon releasment ritual on the last full moon of 2018, I made the decision to be open to anything that no longer served my higher good, to fall away….. if something or someone no longer bought me joy, or if I found myself not whole heartily turning up and coming from a place of love and kindness in every area of my life; to be open to letting whatever that maybe, go….
The bar has been raised. It sorta feels like the Universe set me a challenge, a challenge that I accepted. So, I have mentally and energetically made the conscious decision to “rise my vibration”, and it’s HARD! Not the raising my vibe bit; the keeping it there bit! What I will, and will not tolerate bit. The who I will, and will not surround myself with bit. Who I openly give my time and energy to bit. I’m not gonna lie, there are days where I feel like I’m directing my energy in the right direction, only for the universe to yell; “PLOT TWIST!”
I have so much gratitude for what 2018 taught me. The mistakes I made. The lessons I learned. And, the connections I had made (both positive and negative). 2018 was the year I remembered……I remembered not necessarily who I was, but possibly more importantly, who I was NOT! It was the year that I finally embraced my own worth. It was the year that transformed me from the feeling of unworthiness, to waking up to the possibility of finally feeling worthy….. and it felt good! There were highs and lows, there were tears of sadness and of joy, but overall it felt good.
January on the other hand…..
I guess, if I’m being totally honest; with claiming back my worth, also raises questions, and brings up feelings of doubt. Doubting myself in the roles I play in other’s lives. How will me being happy, affect those around me? How do I balance my own desire of worthiness and happiness whilst also making others happy, and meeting their needs? AND, why when we do put our own happiness first, this manages to offend/upset others? But at the same time be open and understanding to their needs…
I have no doubt that by the way 2019 started; it’s definitely going to be a big year! I can not wait to experience what is yet to come my way.
“do everything with so much love in your heart, that you would never do it any other way….be open to whatever no longer serves you, to lovingly fall away”
January I’m sure, well I hope, has been my “just checkin’ “ month. Just making sure that I’m still up for the challenge. Still good on my word. Still, despite what comes my way; I remain true to myself and keep vibin’ high.
Until next time, take care of you.