I’m still finding my feet in this thing called life, and unfortunately or fortunately, however you choose to look at it, as my blog title states……. THIS IS ME!
For as long as I can recall, I have been a fantastic comparer. I’d compare myself to nearly everyone I came into contact with.
But, I’m making changes; this is my year to get me right! Or, as right as I’m going to be for now anyway……….
………it is big, and very overwhelming when you open up, expose raw emotion, and talk about mental illness, but I, like others, have realised that it really does “take a village” when supporting each other, and overcoming obstacles that God/the Universe throws our way.
For as long as I can recall, I have believed that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and when combining that belief system with, all relationships are a spiritual assignment, I am beginning to let go of limiting beliefs around how I interact with others’……….
So, I have a confession to make………….Of late, I haven’t been a kind, caring and loving person to someone who plays a very important role in my life……..
After taking the time, and holding space, for getting in touch with past and current hurts, both during, and immediately after Wanderlust, I was reminded of my own mantra, “take care of you”. I replied to an email applying to become an “Earth Angel” for a local, yet taking the world by storm organisation, Earth Events. Guess what??? They must’ve liked me, my application was successful!! It was here, in this space, that I made my decision to take leave from work, and some aspects of my life as I knew it to be…………
Yoga and meditation have been apart of my life for over the past ten years. The breathing techniques for both practices have helped me immensely with various life changing events that have, and are still, occurring within my life, as well as my anxiety and panic attacks………….
I’m going to be honest, I have been struggling. Every single decision I have made, I have not only second guessed it, I have third, fourth, fifth guessed it, to the point of throwing my arms up with a big old F@$K IT!! It has been hard work emotionally, and physically draining being in constant war with myself in my head, whilst putting on my “mask” of positivity to the outside world.
By now, most people close to me know my “everything happens for a reason” motto. So in reflecting on everything, I decided that there is clearly a lesson for me to learn, and then share. I believe my lesson is LETTING GO.
I believe we all “know”our path for this lifetime, we just forget over time and through society conditioning us, what our path, or life purpose is. How many times a month, a week, a day, do you catch yourself either doing something, or saying something that you actually don’t want to say or do? You do it anyway, even if it doesn’t “feel” right. I know I’m guilty of it!
Why does it take for a sporting star, or any celebrity for that matter, to publicly state what I know is true, for people to sit up and take notice?
Over the past few months, I have been delving into self discovery. In doing so I have discovered things about myself that I never knew existed…………….
“When faced with a dilemma, take a moment sit with the issue. Don’t rush to decide what to do. Intend to let Divine inspiration flow to you, and it will be so.” ~Christiane Northrup, M.D.