So, it’s been a while…
New friendships formed.
Some past friendships strained.
Good friendships became stronger.
Lessons have been learnt.
But realistically….life has happened.
I made a decision on New Year and as a part of each New Moon, that I would intentionally lead from my heart… I would allow myself to be open to whatever came my way and I would finally open my heart to new possibilities….
I clearly needed to be more specific because all this has done, is open myself up to hurt. But that’s ok…lessons have been learnt!
If I had a dollar for every post I saw on social media regarding mental health, and people sharing posts about staying up all night to talk to others so the person struggling felt valued, I’d have a few hundred dollars in my pocket so far this year alone. And this is awesome! We need to bring mental illness or mental wellness, as I prefer to call it, to the fore front. People need to know that it’s ok to talk about their mental health. They will not be judged or shamed, but supported and loved.
But where are those people? The people sharing the posts, I mean.
I mean, I know who they are. I see the posts they share… but, I also know for a FACT, that out of just my Facebook “friend” list alone; I could/can/ have actually done so, counted on one hand who have been there for me.
And those few of you that have been, and still are, you know who you are…..
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU ♡♡♡
There is some truth to the quotes floating around regarding those who smile the most; are often the ones that may need to be checked in on…. Not everyone shares their lows and setbacks as a Facebook status…. Not everyone will openly share, unless prompted, the shitty moments that life throws their way…. Or they simply don’t know who they can open up to due to past experiences and insecurities.
Just this past weekend; I was right back mentally where I have not been for the longest time…. and I survived. I have learned to rely on myself. And I have finally accepted that it is ok to rely on and reach out to others….again, you know who you are
But people assume. They make assumptions based on their on perception….
Over my lifetime; I have been name called, I have been wrongly accused, I have been cheated on, I have been misunderstood, abused, shamed, blamed and disrespected….
And still I see; no I deliberately search for, the good, that same light I know and see within myself…. in others.
And still, I am that person who hears a friend needs support, or has received bad news, or I simply get a feeling that something is off…. I show up… regardless of my own troubles….regardless of my own journey.
I am learning that not everyone has a heart like mine…. not everyone is capable of seeing the light in others….not everyone means what they say….and not everyone’s actions match the words they speak….
And still, I search for the good and that same light in them….
People who know me will read this and message me… people will read this and not message me (probably just talk about me) …people will read this and think it’s all about them….
I write for me.
I journal for me.
I share my thoughts, my feelings, my truths, for me.
It all helps me.
And if by chance, I happen to help someone else in some small way by me sharing me… that is fanfuckingtastic!
In saying all of the above; mental illness, suicide, depression, grief, anxiety, this stupid corona virus; life is happening, and there are moments where we all struggle from time to time…. if you see me sharing a post about mental illness….I have lived it….I can relate….
And I mean it when I say I AM HERE for support ♡ you actually CAN message me and say you need a friend or a friendly ear, and I WILL be there. I may not have the perfect words, shit…I might not have any words, but I will have a loving heart, a caring soul and a comforting hug if nothing else…
So, instead of judging each other.
Instead of making assumptions.
Instead of being too busy or disinterested to align your actions with your words…
please be kind. That’s all ♡
Until next time; take care of you…