As I sit to write tonight, I am still tossing up how much information I give you about myself. How much information is too much? What if I’m too boring for anyone to want to read/know about anyway? So, I’ve decided to not start at the beginning as such, but the beginning of my role as a mum.
Tonight, is the eve of my eldest son’s 17th birthday. Seventeen!! OMG, when did that happen? Where did the last seventeen years ago? Why don’t I feel seventeen years older?
Back on 19th August 1997, my husband and I welcomed our first child, a beautiful, perfect, baby boy into the world. I was 22 years old. At this exact time, all those years ago I remember feeling an enormous mix of emotions. I had had a great day, I went for a walk and visited my best friend at the time, then spent the remainder of the day “nesting” in preparation of my baby’s arrival. I was ready, ready to meet this little bundle that I had been carrying around for the last nine months, but also scared! Scared because I had never been a mum before; I was full of self doubt, but also scared because it finally dawned on me that my little bundle of joy, had to come out!
After a relatively fast and drug free labour, we welcomed Jack into the world at exactly 8:25 am on Tuesday 19th August. The immense feeling of love that I felt for Jack was overwhelming; I could not (and still even now at times) put my feelings into words. It was at this moment I made the decision to be a better person. I’m not saying that I wasn’t a nice person before the arrival of Jack, I just knew that from this moment on, I needed to be the best version of myself I could be, for him.
I believe that doing everything in your power to be the best you can be as a person, is important for a somewhat happy life. I, like others haven’t always had this mind set. Late nights, alcohol, cigarettes, and greasy hang over food were once apart of my life. My pre children life, or my life before children, as much as it was fun at the time, wasn’t the life I was ‘meant’ to be living. The arrival of Jack put most things into perspective. He depended upon me. I needed to be well and healthy,the best version of me that I could be, his wellbeing depended on it. Over the years, bit by bit, and with a lot of help from others along the way, I am finally in a place where I can honestly say, I’m comfortable with who I am. I’m still growing, developing and fine tuning myself, but I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. Jack, being our first born has played a huge part in that transformation. He set the “ball rolling” so to speak. I made a promise to both myself and him, that I would be the best role model that I could be. I wanted to model everything, from being active and playing with him, eating the right foods to manners and how to treat others; while being mindful, to always act only, out of kindness.
My path to be the best version of me is ongoing. Over the last seventeen years I have had many highs, along with many lows. Shared many laughs, as well as many tears. Experienced sheer joy, and unfortunately, extreme grief. I am constantly growing and learning, I thrive on knowledge and then sharing that knowledge. Sharing is caring after all!
Kindness and mindfulness is at the forefront of my being. Practice kindness always (sometimes its harder than other times), and always try to be mindful of others thoughts and feelings. Take time for others, but also take time for yourself. Listen to your body. Be the best version of you. And finally, take care of you!
Happy 17th birthday for tomorrow Jack, thank you for choosing me! Love you all the way to the moon and back xxxx