Thankful 🙏🏼

Hey there,

WOW-it’s August already! Where has the last few months gone??

Ok, so at the moment, at our place, I have one son preparing for his next overseas trip this month. Another part way through his final year of school, and planning all that, that entails; finishing the year off happy and successfully, formal, schoolies, plus life after school, and another who is growing at a ridiculous rate (I mean, my baby is now officially the tallest!), not only in height, but as a young man in his own right, with his own ambitions and goals in life. And, I can’t forget football (soccer). There is ALWAYS football!  All of which, are bringing each of the boys, new and exciting experiences and opportunities.

Just like I have the privilege of witnessing, guiding and supporting my boys on their life path, and observing them each grow and change on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level- I too have grown. I am not the same person that I was 20, 10, 5, or even 1 year ago. The essence of who I am, was always there, but with out the experiences and relationships, or “assignments”, that I’ve had presented to me; I would not be the me, that I am today.

As the experiences and events surrounding the boys evolve and expand, I am overcome with emotion; emotion, thanks and gratitude.

The gratitude that I now feel for past relationships is overwhelming! Without me having those experiences, I would not be the person I am today-thankyou universe/God!🙏🏼

I am now thankful to past experiences that I have endured, without them I wouldn’t have the confidence to step proudly into my own truth ✨

Even in my darkest of moments, when I sincerely could not see a way out of my own mind, there was always a glimmer of light. When I allowed, and gave permission for the light to out shine the darkness; is when I permitted myself, and surrendered,  to not only know my worth, but stepping into, and embracing my own light, and worth! I now know that I am worthy. I find myself occasionally drifting out of my comfort zone, and come head to head with feelings of self-doubt, and comparison, but these days I don’t stay there long enough to entertain those feelings for too long. I now know who I am!

Regardless of my journey so far; the highs and the lows, the grief and the joy, the judgement and the ridicule, the heartache and the love; I can’t help but feel, that my whole life up to this point, has been moulding and shaping me for what is yet to come……

Until next time, take care of you ✨❤️

Trene x

No relationship is ever a waste of  your time. If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want.” ~Unknown

 

 

 

 

 

Practicing what I preach……..

Hey there!

WOW, nearly the end of June; I’ve been a little slack on the blog front!

To be honest, I have been taking some time to work on myself. Nothing to big, or out of the ordinary; continuing to keep myself nourished, by taking a proactive stance with my general wellbeing-mind, body and spirit, AND (touch wood) I have felt the best I have felt in the longest time.

I won’t bore you with the details, but to cut a really long story short, I have actually been practicing what I preach (yes, yes Craig, I finally listened to you).

I mean, I still worry myself stupid. I still over think everything and every situation, I still let fear and unworthiness pop in from time to time, BUT now I am in some sort of control as to how I entertain these feelings, and for how long.  Don’t misunderstand me, this is no easy task; I have finally learned, that I am stronger than I have ever given myself credit for.

For example; since my last post, I have “lost” friends. I jumped on Facebook and realised that posts from people who usually showed up in my news feed, or notifications from where I had “liked” or commented on a post, were no longer available for me to view. This did bother me! I automatically went into a panic. “What have I done?” “Did I say something wrong?” “Did I do something to offend those people?” “How will these people now treat me when they see me?” This will sound ridiculous, but I spiralled all the way back to good old familiar, mr unworthiness. He let me hang with him for a few days, he fuelled my panic, stroked my self-doubt, and repeated the mantra I knew so well “if your own mother doesn’t like you , how do you expect others to like you”……. but this time, I felt a shift, it was like a big “F#@K YOU ego”, I am not that person! I put into practice exactly what I preach, and surrendered my fears and negative thoughts AND, once again I found myself reconnecting with the Universe/God and giving thanks. Giving thanks, to being shown that there is a lesson in every relationship that crosses my path, reminding me that I am not for everybody, and that’s ok.

You see, we are the authors of our own story, we can change our story at anytime, but its got to be done with feeling. The energy we project out to the world, is what will in return, reflect back to us. If we are choosing a life from a fear based energy, such as unworthiness, resentment, anger and self-doubt; fear based energy is what we will attract. The same works for love based energy.

“When we allow ourselves to lovingly surrender and go with the flow, rather than resist and push against it, we are open to allow the universe to lead us toward that, which serves our highest good” ❤️🙏🏼

At the end of the day, I believe we are all here doing the best we can. With so much negativity and fear in the world, I truly believe that peace and love, begins within the heart and soul of each of us. One small loving gesture you do for yourself will have a domino effect within your immediate little world, which will roll on to your outer world, and so on and so forth-but you have to do it with feeling. 

Give thanks. Be grateful, even when things get you down, or appear to not be turning out how you’d like. Keep a gratitude journal, try to find at least three different things each day to be genuinely grateful for; some days you may struggle to find three, other days you may fill three pages 🌈

“Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate” ~Jordan Bach

So, as I finish my post and leave you until next time, and if you’re not already keeping a journal or giving thanks for all the amazing and loving blessings you have in your life; humour me, give it a go, you won’t be sorry, and who knows, you may just happen to attract more love, blessings and amazing things into your already amazing life!

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Until next time, take care of you.

Trene x

 

 

Forgiveness equals freedom…….

Hey there!

For those of you who have been following my blog, will know I write about my life, what is happening, and how I deal with (or sometimes, not deal with very well) things. I have never claimed to have all the answers, but I figure if I’m feeling a particular way, or having life “stuff” to deal with, guaranteed someone else out there is probably going through/has been through, the same or similar “stuff”.  Sometimes, just knowing that even though life happens, good, bad, or indifferent, someone else understands and can relate to the situation you are facing. When I have been caught up in my deepest and darkest moments, surrounded by anxiety, panic and fear, knowing that I am not alone, and using all my strength mentally, to shift my mindset, often is the driving force to pick my sorry butt up, dust myself off, put on my big girl pants, and get on with it!  So, in saying that, I read the letter………

My mother wrote me a letter. My husband refused to let me read the letter, because he knew it would break me. All he would tell me regarding the letter, was that the person mentioned in the letter, was not someone he knew, and he didn’t want me to read it and believe the words within in it. He believed, for my own state of mind, it was better me not knowing the content for the letter. My husband is the one and only person I can honestly say, I trust with all my heart, mind, body and soul. So, as much as I wanted to read it when it was dropped here, I trusted Craig when he insisted I didn’t. Two years have passed, I’m in a better place; I read the letter……..

I’ve read it at least a hundred times. I experienced what felt like, an infinity of emotions; finally, I can now read it from nearly, a detached state of emotion. It is now, just words. Poorly written, scattered thoughts fuelled by an angry person, who obviously needed to express their feelings, and direct those feelings at the person they believe is responsible for all of their heartache- ME.

I get that. When I write, I write from a place of feeling. And usually, I feel better (sometimes nervous, because I’m putting my self out there for the same type of criticism I received in the letter) for getting what I want/need to say out and down on paper (or on my blog). I’ve even written a response to the letter. I have not sent it. I WILL NOT send it. I did not write it from a place of hate, fear, rejection or hurt, but from love…….

I did not rebut the statements and accusations in the letter. I wrote from my heart. From the heart of a girl, a girl who has finally realised that she has to let go, move forward, and forgive. Forgive my mother, but also honour her feelings; forgive myself, and honour my own feelings.

We have all experienced hurt, pain and sorrow. Some worse than others, but pain just the same. It’s how we honour ourselves, react to those feelings, and move forward, is how we forgive. Forgive, not only those we believe have wronged us, but also ourselves.  

You see, for the most part of my life (and even as I type this), I believed that if I do the right thing, be nice to everyone I meet, try to get along with all who cross my path, people will like me-simple. Um….. wrong! 

I am learning that, I AM NOT FOR EVERYONE…….and sometimes, sadly, that even includes family. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I’m finally nearly at peace with it.

I’ve taken the time, to notice all of the signs and messages aimed my way repeatedly, this past week or so. I’ve taken the time to notice, listen, stop, and act. I’ve written this post, and now I am sharing my lessons- “forgiveness is freedom” and, “let go of others perceptions”

“It’s through forgiveness, that we have the freedom, to let go of others perceptions of us”.~Trene

Be authentically you. Be unapologetic for who you are, and what you stand for. Be kind. Be love. Be the very best version of you. Those who get your vibe will stay, and those who don’t will drift away.

“……..Don’t waste your precious time and gifts to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you are selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on, and continue along your way. ……..”~Rebecca Campbell; Light is the New Black.

Oh, I nearly forgot! Today marks the Full Moon in Libra 🌕 a fantastic time for releasing what no longer serves you. What serves you and what doesn’t? Release and let go, but also practise forgiveness.

Until next time, take care of you.

Trene x

Just a little note, I wrote…….

Hey there!

With it being Valentines Day and all, I thought I would share my thoughts on love ❤️

Love is everywhere. We may not always see it or believe it, or even feel we are worthy of it, but it is there.

Sometimes love gets overlooked. Why? People become too busy or they simply feel that real, unconditional love, does not exist.

Love shows up in many ways, shapes and forms. Love often takes us by surprise, and all to often, just when we feel we are immune to it…….BAM! It hits us like a lightning bolt.

Love isn’t just about the feelings you get from your partner, or that girl/guy you think is a hottie. Love is also the compassion you feel when you know of, or can see someone else’s pain. Love is the sympathy you feel when you hear of another’s loss. Love is the joy you feel when you witness another’s success. Love is the passion within you, when you feel strongly on a topic or situation.

The world needs more love. People need more love.

If you love someone, or simply love something about someone; tell them!

If you love a cause and what it stands for; get involved!

Be open to the possibility of love; not just romantically, but in every aspect of life. Be open to receiving love; you see, for when you look at things from a place of love, there is no room for fear……

Keeping our emotions in check is often hard to do, so I’ve learned to just go with it. When I feel angry, I be angry. When I feel sad, I be sad. When I feel happy, I be happy. By doing this, I also release any anxiety I may be feeling. I allow the emotion to flow, instead of fighting it. I acknowledge it, instead of resisting it. It’s still a work in progress, but I am learning that by allowing myself to feel these feelings when I need to feel them, there is more room in my heart for love. I release the negative/fear based emotions sooner, and that frees up my heart and head space for positive, love based emotions.

You see, its love that sets us free, free to be ourselves, and live the life we are meant to be living.

As I said, it’s a work in progress………..

Wishing everyone a happy valentines!

Until next time; take care of you.

Trene x

 

This is Me!

Hey there!

So, I’ve been reflecting, reading, learning, studying and reflecting some more. Over the last few months I’ve cried, rejoiced, got down right annoyed, felt inspired, felt let down and, cried some more.

Life has been busy, our eldest son now an adult, working, socializing, coming and going, making his own way in the world; the younger two still at school and both so heavily involved in the sport they love-soccer. Then coming home from our third year at National Titles with Tom in Sydney, where we were straight back into trials for both representative and club teams for the 2017 season for both boys; time appears to be rushing by, and doesn’t really look like it will be slowing down in the foreseeable future! It’s been in the busiest of these moments that I turn inward. Sometimes it leads to self-doubt, this time it prompted me to take a good hard look at myself, my family, and whats truly important to myself and my family.

With the recent course of events unfolding in my personal life, I have been reflecting on my life and those in it up to this point. Being labelled a “sook”, “too sensitive”, “too serous”, “hot-tempered”, with one “friend” even calling me a “bit of a prune”;  are phrases I have heard to describe me  ALL of my life! And, this is what I’ve come with……..

I am, who I am! I am an empath, I DO take on other’s emotions-when those around me are hurting, I hurt with them; when they are happy, I rejoice with them, if something or some one is hurtful to myself or those around me and pisses me off, I will react to it. YES, my feelings get hurt, when I give, I give with all of my heart. When I love, I love with all of my soul. When I share myself, my inner most thoughts or feelings with you, I’m sharing an essence of my very spirit….. I know I over think stuff, I don’t need anyone to point out the obvious, but when I do, it’s because my feelings are out there for all to see, and through that vulnerability, fear can seep in.

You see, I love to see those around me happy. So,  I will often slip into “people pleasing” so I don’t put myself at risk of being vulnerable. In doing this, I’m accepting of others, how they feel and, how they treat me. More often than not, I allow and silently give permission for others to mistreat, or hurt my feelings with their labels, rather than me standing up, and owning my thoughts and feelings. Well no more!

I’m still finding my feet in this thing called life, and unfortunately or fortunately, however you choose to look at it, as my blog title states……. THIS IS ME!  I am sensitive, I love quickly and deeply, I hurt just as quickly and deeply. I care about the environment,  all life, be it human or animal that resides on our beautiful planet Earth. I cry……I cry when I’m sad, be it a movie, a book, the news, and I cry when I’m happy. And, that’s ok. I collect crystals, I’m a vegan and proud to be (I never judge or criticise others for choosing to eat meat and consume dairy, I respect others and their choices; it would be great if my choices were respected, not criticized and made fun of- another example of me not owning my feelings!), I love eating organic food and try to stay away from chemicals when I can (dream job-educating the masses on the importance of good health and clean eating), oh I nearly forgot, I absolutely love the moon; the crescent is my favourite!

If in amongst all of the above I happen to annoy and make people uncomfortable, that is never my intent. I’ve learned that when I feel uncomfortable around certain people, or in particular situations that, that is the universe/God’s (insert whats applicable to you) way of showing me something I need to work on with in myself. I turn to the universe/God and ask what it is I need to learn from this person/situation.

I’m learning to like me, it’s a process, and one that is forever changing, just as I am forever changing and growing- the person I am today, is not the person I was 1, 10, or even 20 years ago. I’m investing in my health and well-being. Often as mums, we look at putting time and energy into ourselves as selfish, I’m choosing to look at it as an investment, an investment in mine and my family’s future…….

“When I am nurturing me,

I am present and available for others…….”

So until next time, start investing in yourself, your health and well-being. And, remember to take care of you!

Trene x

Are you still ok??

Hey there!

So, “R U OK?” day  has come and gone, and with this week, 9th-15th October being Mental Health Week, and today being World Mental Health Day, I thought it appropriate to post my next blog post……

Are you still enquiring, asking, noticing and listening to those around you, that simply may not be ok? It is fantastic that as a collective, we have a day where mental health issues are at the forefront of discussion, society genuinely takes the time to ask those around them if they are ok, and people living with mental health issues feel it is ok to speak up about not being ok; but  what about today? Yesterday? Last week? Or, even tomorrow?

I still ask. It doesn’t even have to be friends that you ask. Just this past weekend, when about to step into my car at the local shopping centre, I noticed a lady standing at the front of her car crying. I asked her; ” r u ok?  Is there something you need, something I can do? At first, she just stared at me, but then smiled and said “No I’m not, I will be, and there’s nothing you can do, but thank you, thank you for asking.” I said my good-bye, left, and hoped she really will be ok. Would I have been able to help her? I’m not sure, but I definitely would’ve tried!

And, if I’m to be openly honest, not always am I ok………I’m just now learning that my feelings are not insignificant compared to others, and it is ok for me to feel whatever it is that I am feeling, be it sad, hurt, lonely, betrayed, let down, or even as happy as a pig in mud; just because a life experience for me may not “appear” to be as big, bad, sad, or significant as others, it is still big, bad, sad, or significant to me. It didn’t matter what the feeling is/was, I would not allow myself to feel it, because you see, my favourite mantra was, and if I’m still being honest, can sometimes still be,  I AM NOT WORTHY!”

For as long as I can recall, I have been a fantastic comparer. I’d compare myself to nearly everyone I came into contact with. I’d pick up on their energy, be it good, bad, or indifferent, and compare my little heart and mind out. I’d put myself down, criticise myself, speak badly about and to myself, and judge myself to the point where I’d strip myself bare of all self-confidence and worth. This is where the mind/ego is a very powerful force……it can make you believe anything, and that’s where mental health issues reside and rear their ugly heads when we are at our most vulnerable.

I’m sure I’ve said it before, but heck, I’ll say it again,  IT IS EASIER TO BE NEGATIVE THAN POSITIVE ONCE DEPRESSION AND/OR ANXIETY SETS IN……..the emotional and mental strength required to lift, sustain, and keep me positive, when any of the above sets in, at best, is down right exhausting!

But, I’m making changes; this is my year to get me right! Or, as right as I’m going to be for now anyway.

I am investing in myself; discovering new things, revisiting old or past hurts, rediscovering things and letting go of whatever no longer serves a positive purpose in my life. Writing, either through my gratitude diary, journaling, or here on my blog,  helps me put things in perspective. Taking time out of my day to journal, or write, really keeps me focused on “the attitude of gratitude”.  Acknowledging the positive things (even if it as little as three) each day, by far overshadows the negative! I also meditate, walk, I use EFT Tapping, I sing, silly made up Katrina original songs to my kids  (they secretly love it 😉), practice yoga and Pilates, I make a conscious effort to only surround myself with positive people, in positive environments, and just recently…..……allow myself to feel through breath. 

Through yoga and meditation I have learned the art of breath. When I am feeling anxiety kick in, I turn to my breath. When depression has set up camp for however long it takes me to move it on, I breathe. Allowing myself to breath through the anxiety, a panic attack or whatever feeling I am experiencing, helps me reconnect to who I am. I reconnect with my mind, my body and spirit/source/universe/God (insert whats applicable for you). It can be hard work, to the point of exhausting,  but I want to be ok, I will be ok.

“I’m not yet where I should be,

But I’m no longer where I was……”

So, keep asking the question; “R U OK?” If you are a sufferer,(and I know from experience, it takes courage) ASK FOR HELP. For me it was a statement to a few trusted people……“I need your help!”, but most importantantly, as a society, we need to keep talking about mental health, be mindful of each other, don’t be so quick to pass judgement……….

Until next time; practice kindness always and, take care of you.

Trene x

 

PS; my favourite breathing techniques are; Nadi Shodhan Pranayama (alternate nostril breathing), and/or Basic Pranayama, if you get a chance, check them out 💜

 

It really does take a Village…..

Hey there!

Mental illness is a topic that hits me close to home. And with “r u ok?” day just around the corner, like tomorrow, Thursday 8th Sept, I thought it would be appropriate and timely, to take the time to acknowledge a couple of little pains in the butt, that continue to pop up in not only my life, but also in the lives of people I hold near and dear, good old depression and anxiety.

In Australia alone, 45% of people will experience a mental health condition. In any one year, approximately 1 million adults, have depression, with a staggering 2 million suffering anxiety. Even though both conditions are different, it’s not uncommon to experience both at the same time.

So, what is depression? 

This will vary for each sufferer, and can stem from various situations or relationships, but can generally be broken down into four categories; behaviour, feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms, or signs.

  • Not going out and participating in activities that would normally be considered normal, poor concentration, and withdrawing from family and friends, could be considered behavioural signs.
  • Feeling sad, overwhelmed, lacking in confidence and just unhappy most of the time, could be considered feeling signs/symptoms.
  • Negative thought patterns; “I’m a failure”, “it’s all my fault” and my favourite……..”I’m worthless”, followed closely by,”everyone would be better off without me anyway”.
  • Constant fatigue, feeling sick and run down, churning stomach, and difficulty sleeping can be physical signs and symptoms of depression.

The good news is……….THERE IS HELP!

You may feel comfort in talking to a close friend or life partner, because the thought of talking to you GP may sound silly, after all,  you “don’t look sick”.  Chatting with a close friend will definitely help, but your GP is a health professional, and if he/she isn’t equipped or trained in mental health issues, they will (and do) refer you on to someone who is, for confidential and professional treatment.

Some psychological treatments that sufferers may benefit from are;

Cognitive behaviour treatment– a structured treatment that has been identified as one of the most effective treatments for depression. This generally involves working with a trained therapist to identify thought and behavioural patterns that trigger depressive thoughts, or thoughts that are intruding on your mind,  to prolong recovery when experiencing depression.

Behaviour therapy– a major component of cognitive behavioural treatment, but instead of attempting to change the mindset and thought pattern, it’s focus is to encourage rewarding, joyous, and self satisfying activities.

Interpersonal therapy– this form of treatment is structured to focus on problems in personal relationships, and to provide strategies and skills to cope with relationship issues. Identifying the patterns associated with interpersonal therapy, implementing strategies, and focusing on improving relationships, coping with grief, and learning new ways on how to converse with others, are all positive outcomes from this type of treatment.

Mindfulness based cognitive therapy- a therapy that is not for everyone, because it is usually delivered in a group environment. This type of therapy evolves around meditation, and the teachings of focusing on the present, and noticing the thought, feeling, or behaviour associated with the mental illness without trying to change it. Mindfulness based cognitive therapy can also aid in controlling “mind wandering” thoughts about the past or the future, and help avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings. This type of therapy is helpful for preventing depression or anxiety returning, as it encourages the noticing and acknowledgement of the thought or feeling early, allowing warning signs from your body to identify the onset of a depressive or anxiety attack coming on, and can be dealt with quickly and effectively.

These therapies are all designed to help recover from, and prevent the return of, a mental health issue, and should be discussed with a trained professional

Depression and anxiety, like all illnesses, isn’t picky with who it resides with; small children, through to the elderly, men, women, no race, sexuality or religion is immune to either illness. The important thing to remember is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Surrounding yourself with a support network is vital. Mental illness challenges the person it has embodied as often as it likes, to the point that just getting through the day can sometimes be a struggle within itself. A fantastic support person/network will gradually learn to recognise when something isn’t right, generally before you know it yourself. They are there to talk though any triggers while remaining calm, logical, and most importantly, non-judgemental.

Never advise someone you know, who is suffering from depression or anxiety to, “snap out of it”, or to “get their act together”. Keeping them busy, or trying to encourage them out won’t generally work either (just saying), if anything, those remarks or good intentions could lead to making things worse.

Even a fantastic support person/network needs support. If you are a support person for anyone experiencing a mental health issue, remember to look after you too! Ask for, or accept help when it’s offered. You are playing an extremely important role in managing the issue at hand, and as much as it may not seem like it at times, but your love, support and guidance does not go unnoticed by the sufferer.

From experience, it is big, and very overwhelming when you open up, expose raw emotion, and talk about mental illness, but I, like others, have realised that it really does “take a village”  when supporting each other, and overcoming obstacles that God/the Universe throws our way. Whatever the experiences are we all face and encounter, I believe that we are all here doing the best we can, with what we’ve been given, and we need to support each other on this journey that is life.

To be continued……

Until next time, take care of you………

Trene x

 

PS: It is ok to ask someone who you think might be suffering from a mental health issue, “R U OK?” They just may value the fact that you took the time to notice and ask. Whether you know it or not, it could make a world of difference!

I have drawn on information from Beyond Blue as well as my own personal experiences in writing this piece

 

 

 

 

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